I’m SO grateful that God has chosen to give another Little Blessing to our home! I’m rejoicing in the fact that God reached down from Heaven and is making my body ABLE to carry another baby, despite the world warning me differently! But there are so many times, when I look around me and wonder, can I really do this?! I’m struggling right now, just dealing with an active 13-month-old who’s had runny diapers and been staining outfits left-and-right for the past week! HOW ON EARTH will I EVER do dishes or keep up with laundry when I’m back to sitting on the couch, nursing for 8 hours out of the day? Or how will I EVER properly correct and discipline as Brooklyn moves into the 2-year-old stage? Am I really READY for two children? I think I need to re-memorize Psalm 57:7 – “My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed: I will sing and give praise.” And then there’s my special verse in Psalm 113:9 - “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children . . .” A JOYFUL mother of children! Yes! Ok! I can do this! I just have to trust in the Lord! I’ll be joyful! It will all work out! And then I begin to question and doubt again . . .
What other thoughts have been plaguing this expectant mother’s mind? I have no idea where this baby is going to be born! Is the Lord suddenly going to supply the job, the house, and the money required, for us to make a long-distance move? If we stay here, can we possibly fit two cribs in that one small bedroom? How can I start planning, rearranging and decorating for this poor little one, if I don’t even know where we’re going to be in the next few months? Will I even still be here NEXT month, to find out the baby’s gender, or will we be caught in the middle of an insurance transition? My mind just wants to go CRAZY sometimes with all of the wonderings, the fears, and the “what ifs”!
Do you know what I KNOW that I need, more than anything, right now? THE SECURITY OF GOD’S PRESENCE. Psalm 36:7 declares, “How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.” Our daughter Brooklyn usually cries HYSTERICALLY if someone is vacuuming in the house, but if someone else is HOLDING HER during the vacuuming, she’s perfectly fine! How often are we just like that? Completely flipping out when we’re overwhelmed and scared, unless we STOP and realize that we are being HELD by our Heavenly Father! Psalm 34:17 “The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles.” Psalm 34:4 “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Not just one of my fears – ALL of them! How I need to hold onto that verse, once again!
If I feel alone with my fears, Psalm 139:7 reminds me, “Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?” Why have I chosen to write about these things, tonight, as my baby girl is sleeping and my husband is working? Perhaps, because it is during the quiet moments, that we tend to THINK and to FEAR the most. The month of July has threatened to choke my heart with fearful discouragement, this year. I wrote this devotional because I NEEDED to write this devotional! I NEEDED these verses, this month! Are you, too, in need of the security of God’s Holy Presence, tonight? Then may we pray the words of Psalm 61:1-2, 4: “Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I . . . I will trust in the covert of thy wings.” God Bless, Dear Sisters, and Goodnight!